Sexual Compatibility: A complete lie?

Here’s what it is…

Let me start by defining sex. I mean, we all know the generic definition of sex right? But here’s one I know; Sex is a skill that can be built over time. I know you didn’t see that coming, lol. Sex is also worship, but that’s for another day.

Just as it is with every other skill, this too can be built. How is a skill built? Consistency right? Exactly!

Sex is no different. Consistency sharpens skills.

Just to chip in, sex is not love. (Hold that thought)

Now let’s come back to sexual compatibility. I’ve heard a lot of definitions of sexual compatibility and here’s what I think about it.

Sexual compatibility is an umbrella statement for fornication 😬

Yikes! 😬

But yup, that’s what I think about it.

I’ll explain

What is the idea behind sexual compatibility? To know if your partner is sexually compatible with you right? Good! What happens if he/she is not? You’ll move on to the next? And the next? And keep accumulating experiences and eventually make it hard to settle?

You see, God’s plan was for two inexperienced people to grow together, but now, the notion has been perverse and coined into sexual compatibility.

You want to test for compatibility, which means that you’ve built experiences and want to see if your partner can meet up with them.

The first time you had sex, was definitely different from the 10th time you had it. This is because while a novice, an experience was introduced, you took that experience to the next person, combined it with a newer experience and kept at it till you gained supposed mastery. Now your expectations are so high and almost uncontrollable.

Let me give an illustration. Raymond has 15 years of experience or should I say 15 women of experience and he meets Annabelle who has zero experience. There is no way Annabelle can meet his expectations, it’s like giving a Financial Manager position to an entry level accountant, you won’t get the best results except a due process of consistency on the job is followed.

So when I hear people talk about sexual compatibility, it makes no sense 🤷🏻‍♀️. You want to know if your partner is compatible with you as compared to who? Or what?

This is only a subject of discussion because there is an existing experience and hence, comparison.

If both of you are getting down at it for the first time, you are your only experiences and hence no comparison.

Now, if you and your partner have had previous sexual experiences and are coming together for the first time, there is room for growth, like I said earlier, sex is a skill that can be built. Just don’t let those experiences get in the way.

On the other hand, if you have zero experience, there is beauty in waiting. You will eventually grow in marriage.

This is not to say that being a virgin will guarantee a long lasting marriage, marriage is more than sex, but that is a topic for another day.

So, in summary, both parties need to be willing to grow.

Reference scriptures: Acts 15:29, Heb 13:4, Eph 5:3, 1 Tess 4:3–5.

There are other scriptures, but these are the ones I’ll go with for this.

If you have any comments, questions or contributions, feel free to drop them in the comment section, and I’d make sure I interact with it.

You can also contact me on:

Instagram: @__uwaoma

Twitter: @ebubekamalu

PS: Let me know if you want a part two of this. 😁